USC Football’s All-Time Best Name Team

Starting DT: Vinny Van Dyke, Averell Spicer

Reserve: Fili Moala

Stevie Tu’ikolovatu hasn’t been officially introduced as a Trojan so he’ll have to wait to be added to the All-Name team. For now it’s the alliteration from Vinny Van Dyke which earns top nods.

Averell Spicer and Fili Moala have one of a kind names, with Spicer’s getting the starting nod because it is…well, spicier.

Starting DE: Frostee Rucker, Kenechi Udeze

Reserve: Jimmy Gunn

You’d expect ‘Frostee’ to be a nickname. That it’s not makes it even cooler.

Udeze’s first name means “God’s love will always be with me,” in Nigerian, which is a nice touch for a name that just sounds cool to begin with.

Jimmy Gunn, a member of the vaunted Wild Bunch, was as deadly of a pass rusher as his namesake, shooting through gaps in opposing offensive lines.

Starting LB: Vic Vaca, Craig Hartsuyker, Matt Grootegoed

Reserve: Zeke Moreno, Markus Steele

Vaca wins for simple alliteration but there’s got to be a story behind the Hartsuyker name. In some far off galaxy, there’s got to be a tree that only says “I am Grootegoed.”

And well, names like Zeke and Steele were just made to be given to tough guy linebackers.

Starting CB: Adoree’ Jackson, Mozique McCurtis 

Reserve: Nickell Robey

There aren’t many players out there who can match the unique talents of Adoree’ Jackson. Even fewer with such a standout name.

Not only does Mozique McCurtis get in some alliteration, there’s the unusual letters Q and Z adding the cherry on top.

Nickell Robey in a nickel or dime package has a nice ring to it, which makes him the perfect third cornerback to get a nod on the All-Name team.

Starting S: Forrest Mozart, Artimus Parker

Reserve: Danny Bravo

The toughest part of naming Forrett Mozart the best-named safety is deciding whether to make the “Run Forrest, run” joke or a classical music reference.

Artimus Parker is proof that a strong first name can elevate even a common last name like Parker to incredible levels.

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He’s and while he’s not Johnny Bravo, Danny works just as well as a near-superhero name.

A mainstay of the Pete Carroll era, Rocky Seto worked his way up from a graduate assistant to USC’s defensive coordinator in 2009. He’s since followed Carroll to Seattle, where he’s the assistant head coach of the Seahawks.

It was such a prominent rise to fame that even Rocky Balboa would be impressed with.

It’s the offseason –only for a few more days at least– so take this list for what it is.