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USC Football’s All-Time Best Name Team

Alicia de Artola

Reign of Troy

Oct 24, 2015; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Southern California Trojans wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster (9) celebrates during the fourth quarter against the Utah Utes at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The Southern California Trojans won 42-24. Mandatory Credit: Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

Oct 24, 2015; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Southern California Trojans wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster (9) celebrates during the fourth quarter against the Utah Utes at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The Southern California Trojans won 42-24. Mandatory Credit: Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 24, 2015; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Southern California Trojans wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster (9) celebrates during the fourth quarter against the Utah Utes at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The Southern California Trojans won 42-24. Mandatory Credit: Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

Having a great name certainly makes some USC football players more memorable than others. Here’s a look at the Trojans’ all-time best names.

It’s the offseason, which means it’s time to focus on the trivial side of USC football before the serious stuff returns.

Cue our look at the best names in USC history. First, there are some essential honorable mentions to, well, mention.

The Troys. Being the men of Troy gives that particular name some special clout around USC football.

Per USC’s all-time letterman list, there have been a total of six Trojan Troys — quarterback Troy Winslow, defensive back Troy West, punter Troy Richardson, receiver Troy Garner, kicker Troy Van Blarcom and, the greatest of all those, safety Troy Polamalu.

There have been a total of six Troys to play for the Trojans.

With those out of the way, here’s some of the most humorous, ironic and fun names in Trojan history, none of which have ever been worn on the back of USC’s jerseys.

Pardon all the puns…

Starting QB: Morley Drury

Reserves: Irvine Warburton, Ellsworth Kissinger

You don’t run into too many Morley’s, Irvine’s, or Ellsworth’s these days, which means its no surprise that the three quarterbacks hail from the 1920s, 30s and 50s respectively.

Of course it’s not just solid first names they have going for them. Drury and Kissinger are exceptional surnames while Warburton evokes images of a great general on an impressive steed.

Starting FB: Sunny Byrd

Reserves: Verl Lillywhite, D.J. Shoemate

Before there was Dominique, there was Sunny. That’s a bright first name to start with, but paired with Byrd, there’s no question which fullback boasts the strongest name in USC history.

Lillywhite played for USC in the 1940s while Shoemate has to get a pass to be on this list after transferring to UConn.

Starting RB: Art Battle

Reserves: Leonard Livernash, Mazio Royster

Reggie Bush might’ve earned a spot on a list of most timely names, playing for USC in the height of the George W. Bush era. Instead, it’s Battle who reigns with a name that’s a work of Art.

Livernash, who captained USC’s 1915 squad, gets bonus points for alliteration while Mazio “Rolls” Royster simply rolls off the tongue.

Starting WR: JuJu Smith-Schuster, Speedy Hart

Reserves: Larry Parker, Josh Imatorbhebhe

Smith-Schuster’s given name is John and Hart’s is Alcee, but both are listed on USC’s all-time letterman list under their nicknames — JuJu and Speedy. That’s good enough to earn them all-name team honors at receiver.

Larry Parker, a starting receiver for USC in the ’90s put a hurting on other teams, which is fitting that he shares a name with a commercialized lawyer known for personal injury cases.

Imatorbhebhe hasn’t played a game for the Trojans yet, but Josh and his brother Daniel are already legends of the name game.

Starting TE: Pat McCool

Reserves: Gary Potter, Tyler Petite

McCool, who lettered three-years in the 1980s, might give McLovin a run for his money in the name department.

From a simple first name-last name perspective, Gary and Potter are pretty unexciting. But put them together and you’re a couple letters short of wizardry. At 6-foot-6, Petite’s name is just ironically fun.

Starting OT: Otis Page, Mike Scarpace

Reserve: Zach Banner

Fun Fact — Page is one of five Page’s to have lettered for USC, but is the only Otis of any variety to have worn the cardinal and gold.

Scarpace was the first recipient of the “Gloomy Gus” Henderson Award for greatest number of minutes during the season. He’s also one letter short of being a movie title.

As for Banner, his hulking 6-foot-9 frame makes his case as a flag carrier of sorts.

Starting OG: Titus Tuisasosopo, Damien Mama

Reserves: Leroy Littlejohn, Brad Budde 

Just say Titus Tuiasosopo out loud. The puns write themselves for Damien, who is one big Mama.

And then there’s Leroy Littlejohn, who played for the Trojans in 1942 and takes the award for best combination of alliteration and irony.

As for Budde? He was a hard-nosed, physical lineman that took home the 1979 Lombardi Award as All-American quarterback Paul McDonald’s favorite on-field buddy.

Starting C: Marv Goux

Reserves: Hudson Houck, Cyrus Hobbi

Goux is a legend at USC. He might have been an even a bigger one at LSU with that name.

Hudson Houck, who went on to be an assistant coach at USC, sounds like he should have gone on to star in movies.

It didn’t work out for Hobbi at center, but he can take heart that his name is still a winner, even against Stanford.

NCAA Football: Southern California at Arizona State
NCAA Football: Southern California at Arizona State

Starting DT: Vinny Van Dyke, Averell Spicer

Reserve: Fili Moala

Stevie Tu’ikolovatu hasn’t been officially introduced as a Trojan so he’ll have to wait to be added to the All-Name team. For now it’s the alliteration from Vinny Van Dyke which earns top nods.

Averell Spicer and Fili Moala have one of a kind names, with Spicer’s getting the starting nod because it is…well, spicier.

Starting DE: Frostee Rucker, Kenechi Udeze

Reserve: Jimmy Gunn

You’d expect ‘Frostee’ to be a nickname. That it’s not makes it even cooler.

Udeze’s first name means “God’s love will always be with me,” in Nigerian, which is a nice touch for a name that just sounds cool to begin with.

Jimmy Gunn, a member of the vaunted Wild Bunch, was as deadly of a pass rusher as his namesake, shooting through gaps in opposing offensive lines.

Starting LB: Vic Vaca, Craig Hartsuyker, Matt Grootegoed

Reserve: Zeke Moreno, Markus Steele

Vaca wins for simple alliteration but there’s got to be a story behind the Hartsuyker name. In some far off galaxy, there’s got to be a tree that only says “I am Grootegoed.”

And well, names like Zeke and Steele were just made to be given to tough guy linebackers.

Starting CB: Adoree’ Jackson, Mozique McCurtis 

Reserve: Nickell Robey

There aren’t many players out there who can match the unique talents of Adoree’ Jackson. Even fewer with such a standout name.

Not only does Mozique McCurtis get in some alliteration, there’s the unusual letters Q and Z adding the cherry on top.

Nickell Robey in a nickel or dime package has a nice ring to it, which makes him the perfect third cornerback to get a nod on the All-Name team.

Starting S: Forrest Mozart, Artimus Parker

Reserve: Danny Bravo

The toughest part of naming Forrett Mozart the best-named safety is deciding whether to make the “Run Forrest, run” joke or a classical music reference.

Artimus Parker is proof that a strong first name can elevate even a common last name like Parker to incredible levels.

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He’s and while he’s not Johnny Bravo, Danny works just as well as a near-superhero name.

A mainstay of the Pete Carroll era, Rocky Seto worked his way up from a graduate assistant to USC’s defensive coordinator in 2009. He’s since followed Carroll to Seattle, where he’s the assistant head coach of the Seahawks.

It was such a prominent rise to fame that even Rocky Balboa would be impressed with.

It’s the offseason –only for a few more days at least– so take this list for what it is.

Alicia de Artola

Alicia de Artola is an associate editor for FanSided.com and co-host of the Reign of Troy Radio podcast. She's been an avid Trojan fan since Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart thrilled at the Coliseum, eventually attending USC to study Journalism and Classics. After years of message board activity, she started writing about the Trojans for ReignOfTroy.com in 2012. Since then she has covered practices, taken photos on the sidelines, interviewed Trojan legends and podcasted for a decade about all things USC. Now she covers all sports from college football to the NFL, MLB, NBA, soccer and Formula 1 for FanSided.com.